Portland pilots articles
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Portland Drivers Suck
by Anonymous You suck shit at driving. Like who cares what the homeless are doing when you fucking Zoloft snorting yellow-light humpers are too busy arguing with your pre-breakup significant others to notice THE ACTUAL FUCKING HUMAN BEING crossing the street. It's a grand understatement to say that nobody is less important than you. In fact. You have contributed nothing positive to society. By cutting people off from side streets, driving 20 in a 25,...
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Your Friendly Slow Portland Driver
by Anonymous Hi! It's me! You're friendly, slow, Portland driver. I'm the one driving 20 miles per hour in a 25. I'm the one that's three car lengths behind the car in front of me during a traffic jam. I'm the one that slows down on the bridge to look at the river. I'm the one that stops for a pedestrian while traffic zips around me. I know, you're frustrated. You're in a hurry to get home. But honestly, what's your rush? You need to get home and put...
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Jingle Bells, Portland smells
The Seattle Sounders made the trip down I-5 to face off with the Portland Timbers, and for the first time since Aug.