From Suffolk Gazette
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Horsepower of Ed Sheeran: Singer's Music Sends Cavalry Horses Galloping in Panic!
CENTRAL LONDON A morning exercise for seven Household Cavalry horses turned into a chaotic rampage through central London streets. Leaving a trail of injuries and damaged property. What triggered this unexpected frenzy? An Ed Sheeran song blaring from a nearby building site, according to eyewitness reports. By Defence Editor: Doug Trench The commotion began on […]
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‘Cheeky’ sausage dog rips off midget friend’s face
Lorraine Fisher, a single mum from Ipswich, experienced a horrifying ordeal when she was viciously attacked by her friend’s pet sausage dog. Resulting in a devastating injury that has left her physically and emotionally scarred. By Crime Editor: Rob Banks Lorraine Fisher, who stands at just 3 feet 2 inches tall. She was enjoying a […]
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Nike's jersey design blunder blamed for England's Football Flop
WEMBLEY STADIUM, LONDON – England’s national football team faced embarrassment on the field after Nike’s new jersey strip design. By Our Football Staff The controversial new jersey featured a modified version of the iconic cross of St. George. With various shades of blue, purple, and red, stitched onto the back of the collar. Straying from […]
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The Modern Parent’s Guide to Quitting Smoking – Tips and Tricks for a Busy Lifestyle
Becoming a smoke-free parent in today’s fast-paced world can feel like juggling flaming torches while balancing on a unicycle. We get it; life doesn’t pause to give us a break, especially when you’re trying to kick a habit that’s been a constant companion through stress and relaxation alike. But fear not! This friendly guide is […]
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5 Ways You Can Steadily Build Your Social Media Followers
Building a steady stream of social media followers takes time and effort. You know it’s important to grow your audience and reach more people, but it can seem overwhelming trying to build up those follower counts. The good news is that with some smart strategies and consistency, you can organically expand your social media presence. […]
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Willy Wanker disappoints in latest immersive experience fail
IPSWICH, SUFFOLK – Willy Wanker – The company behind the disastrous Willy’s Chocolate Experience in Glasgow has now brought their unique brand of “immersive” entertainment to the streets of Ipswich. Norfolk Reporter: Ian Bred Promising an adult adventure into the realms of sensuality and eroticism. The ‘Adult Pleasure Zone’ has opened its doors to eager […]
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Grealish's Glove Affair: City Edge Past Chelsea in FA Cup Drama
On a cold, sunny day at Wembley, Manchester City secured a hard-fought 1-0 victory against Chelsea in the FA Cup semi-final, with Jack Grealish stealing the spotlight by sporting goalkeeper gloves throughout the game, despite not playing in goal. By Our Football StaffDate 20th April 2024 – F.A. Cup Semi-Final – Wembley Stadiu Manchester City […]
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Crippled Tower Bridge stunt farmer had the tractor factor
TOWER HILL, LONDON – Suffolk farmer, Albert Hunter found himself on the front pages following a motorized stunt that would have made Evel Knievel shudder. By Farming Correspondent (intern): Ivor Traktor Driving his trusty tractor over the iconic Tower Bridge in London on his way to a farm show in Battersea Park, Farmer Albert’s journey […]
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Suffolk men rejoice at opening of ‘the perfect pub’
IPSWICH, SUFFOLK – Ipswich pubgoers are raising their glasses in celebration at the grand opening of a new ‘perfect pub’ – the ‘John Thomas’. By Consumer Correspondent: Colin Allcabs The establishment, named after an extremely well-endowed 15th Century Englishman, is being celebrated for its innovative ‘bloke-friendly’ bar design which allows patrons to pour their own […]
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Shy Suffolk Emergency Service staff to receive ‘assertiveness training’
BURY ST EDMUNDS, SUFFOLK – Emergency service crews in Stanton and Barningham, near Bury St Edmunds, are set to undergo assertiveness training following reports of awkward encounters with shy personnel. By Norfolk Reporter: Ian Bred Concerned members of the public have raised alarms after witnessing firemen.and police officers attending traffic accidents and house fires with […]